Do You Believe Anything Is Possible For You?

Because I definitely did not. 

For years — decades — I believed that I couldn’t have long hair. After growing it out in high school — and being told that it looked wild, frizzy, and out of control — I cut my hair shorter and shorter and shorter. For most of my time in college, I had a pixie cut. 

But then last year, when everything shut down, I decided to say “fuck it.” 

I let my hair grow. And I realized that I had a belief, deep down, that my hair wasn’t good enough. It wasn’t curly enough or straight enough. I didn’t have enough skill to style it like other women and girls did. My hair, in a small but important way, reflected what I thought about myself. 

I’m not like everyone else.

Maybe . . . I’m not good enough.

But here’s the thing: My hair — now that I’m allowing it to just be — is amazing. 

My hairstylist told me that my waves — which I can blow-dry stick straight or use product to create spiral curves — are the beachy sex hair that other women pay hundreds of dollars to mimic with expensive treatments. As it turns out, my hair is AWESOME and that belief?

Was complete and utter bullshit.

After asking a few friends with long hair for advice, I started slathering conditioner on every time I shower and combing my waves out every night. The small act of treating my hair with kindness and curiosity has added a small but important self-care ritual to my days. 

I will be honest — I still have to quiet my inner critic when my hair looks frizzy. The beliefs and thoughts and messages that hold us back are sneaky, and can be persistent. But we can change these beliefs when and if we choose to. 

In the past year, I’ve had over 250 Zoom calls with would-be authors. In a lot of those conversations, words and sentences have come up that I know are limiting beliefs. Things like:

I don’t have time right now. Maybe I’ll do this later.

Your services are awesome, but I’m not sure I can afford to invest right now.

I’m so busy — I’m not sure it’s the right time to pursue working with you.

Sometimes, these statements are true. But what I want you to know is that often, it just feels true. And guess what? The biggest authors you know once shared those beliefs. What makes the difference in your results is whether you’re willing to question what you believe to be true.

So: I want to know — do you believe anything is possible for you?

Or is something holding you back?